| 10. | St. Mom’s Wort… Plant extract that treats Mom’s depression by rendering preschoolers unconscious for up to six hours. |
| 9. | Buyagra… Injectable stimulant taken prior to shopping. Increases potency and duration of spending spree. |
| 8. | Jack Aspirin… Relieves the headach caused by a man who can’t remember your birthday, anniversary, or phone number. |
| 7. | Anti-Talksident… A spray carried in a purse or wallet to be used on anyone too eager to share their life stories with total strangers. |
| 6. | Flipitor… Increases life expectancy of commuters by controlling road rage and the urge to flip-off other drivers. |
| 5. | Antiboyotics… When administered to teenage girls, is highly effective in improving grades, freeing up phone lines, and reducing money spent on make-up. |
| 4. | Sexcedrin… Bedroom aerosol spray for men. More effective than Excedrin in treating the “Not now, dear, I have a headache” syndrome. |
| 3. | Menicillin… Potent antiboyotic for older women. Increases resistance to such lines as, “You make me want to be a better person…can we get naked now?” |
| 2. | PeptoBimbo… Liquid silicone for single women. Two full cups swallowed before an evening out increases breast size, decreases intelligence and improves flirting. |
| 1. | Dumerol… When taken with peptobimbo, can cause dangerously low IQ, causing enjoyment of country-western music. |
