Newfie Medical Dictionary

Newfies have the lowest stress rate. Maybe it’s because they don’t take medical terminology seriously.

Medical Term – Irish Definition

  • Artery – The study of paintings
  • Bacteria – Back door to cafeteria
  • Barium – What doctors do when patients die
  • Benign – What you be, after you be eight
  • Caesarean Section – A neighbourhood in Rome
  • Cat scan – Searching for Kitty
  • Cauterize – Made eye contact with her
  • Colic – A sheep dog
  • Coma – A punctuation mark
  • Dilate – To live long
  • Enema – Not a friend
  • Fester – Quicker than someone else
  • Fibula – A small lie
  • Impotent – Distinguished, well known
  • Labour Pain – Getting hurt at work
  • Medical Staff – A Doctor’s cane
  • Morbid – A higher offer
  • Nitrates – Rates of Pay for Working at Night,
  • Normally more money than Days
  • Node – I knew it
  • Outpatient – A person who has fainted
  • Pelvis – Second cousin to Elvis
  • Post Operative – A letter carrier
  • Recovery Room – Place to do upholstery
  • Rectum – Nearly killed him
  • Secretion – Hiding something
  • Seizure – Roman Emperorv
  • Tablet – A small table
  • Terminal Illness – Getting sick at the airport
  • Tumour – One plus one more
  • Urine – Opposite of you’re out
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